So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
