He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
