All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
