just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
