we have officially lost it.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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