I CAN MOONWALK!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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