Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You ruined the universe
Randomize
