Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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