oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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