Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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