STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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