where am i from again
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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