I hate your face
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
