You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
