I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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