so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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