2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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