I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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