Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
