dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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