Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize