RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
dude. I can hear the air.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
