bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
two words...techno handjob
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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