We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
