I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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