fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
