Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
