Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
