Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
why is half of my head shaved?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
