No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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