The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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