Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
