Responsibility does not care about your dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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