So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
