Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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