be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
