Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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