I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
