How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
