I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
