Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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