if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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