I want to make a zoo with you.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How does it feel to date your dad?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
