I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
