Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
