Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize