heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
