I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
