Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
