you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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