i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize