You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
