I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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