meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
