So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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