Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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