I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
