a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
