the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
