O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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