I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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