we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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